I haven't written in a long, long time! I went through a period of not losing, not even trying actually. Then I got on the wagon again (which seems to be the story of my life; up and down, up and down). Honestly, my weight doesn't bother me as much as it used to. I value myself for who I am inside; for my gifts, and all I give to others. I realize the impact of the media on young girls, and I've learned to fight against the pressure.

However, I do know that being overweight is not healthy. I do want to have children and live a long life. I DO want to be more attractive for my new sweet husband. But the important thing is, I know my value comes from my core and not from my appearance.

I started losing again about 4 months ago. I must admit that I'm getting pharmaceutical assistance (with Phentermine). I know there are lots of varied opinions about the drug, or weight loss drugs in general, but it REALLY helps me. I've lost 30 pounds since 1 December. It's a slow loss, but this is a good thing I think. I wonder about the longrun; about how I'll do when I get the weight off. I know I need to learn to have a healthy relationship with food. I know I need to be more active (which I'm doing lots better at these days). But for the short term, I'm seeing the meds as a tool to help me advance a bit.

The secret is to keep on keeping on. Losing weight is SO hard. I've heard that keeping it off is even harder. My wish is that I'll just keep being persistant, even if I quit for a while; that I'll get up and try, once again.

I know there are so many on this journey. I wish you all luck!